How to manage an all or nothing mentality

Do you have an all or nothing mentality?

Do you self sabotage when you’re not “on it”?

If so, this will certainly be worth a read.

I've been coaching people for many years now, and I've always found it difficult to coach people with all or nothing mentalities. It's hard not to get overly excited when they are "on it" and hard to not be disappointed when they're "off it", because we both know what they're capable of.

Over the years, I've been able to work with these clients to best manage this mindset, thus allowing them to keep moving forward.

I bet you're wondering how I do this?

Are you wondering what the secret is? 

You want me to tell you?

I'm not sure if a coach should reveal his secrets, but okay, I'll tell you. 

From the moment you decide to actively pursue your health and fitness goals; you're going to make decisions each day that'll either push you closer to your goals or further away. 

You might think that when you make a decision that's not conducive to your goals, "yes Susan, you know damn well I'll have a slice of that cake". You are, shall we say, off the wagon, and when you make a decision that is more advantageous, you're then on the wagon "no Susan, I don't want your horrible birthday cake, I'm following the 'I don't want diabetes diet plan, thanks, but no thanks”. 

The thing is, no one decision is good or bad, you might decide to have a slice of Susan's cake, but you have a smaller slice than you would have usually had, this is actually an overall positive decision, now both you and Susan are happy. You've had cake, you've socialised (which is important for mental health) and you're still on track, you can always just have fewer calories later in the day. 

You're having a few bevvies tonight, no worries, have a diet coke with your vodka, instead of full sugar. Also, pro-tip, drink Gray Goose Vodka, no real reason beyond the fact that it tastes so much better than Smirnoff, trust me and thank me in the comments. 

Every decision you make, simply make it better than it could have been:

"You want fries with that Big Mac" "No thanks!

"You want a shot of vanilla in this Latte" "No thanks!"

"You want that milkshake large" "You're damn right, I do!"

That last one is not the best choice, but you're human, you had a weak moment, it's okay, just don't eat that dessert you were going to have tonight. Overall through a day, a week, a month and a year you want to make more positive decisions than negative ones, it's not one decision to be "on it" or "off it", the choices you make will be on a continuum. Every decision you make that might be a bad one, take a step back and see if you can reframe it, could it have been worse? It most likely could have been. 

Think about your day ahead, if it's not a great day, think about how you could make it a little bit better, how you can sprinkle it with positivity. Now that you know this, you can have only good days and great days. 

Now go out and enjoy the journey!